Creating a Will is one of the most important steps you can take to protect your loved ones and make sure your wishes are followed after your death.
However, a Will does not always allow you to explain why you have made certain decisions or provide additional guidance about how you would like your estate to be managed.
This is where a Letter of Wishes can be extremely valuable.
A Letter of Wishes is a separate document that allows you to provide guidance, explanations and personal thoughts to the people responsible for dealing with your estate. While it is not legally binding in the same way as a Will, it can provide important insight for your executors, trustees and family members.
Letters of Wishes are particularly useful for people who:
- Have children or grandchildren
- Have a blended family
- Are creating a trust
- Want to explain inheritance decisions
- Wish to provide guidance about personal possessions
- Want to leave additional information for loved ones
At Town & Country Law, we help individuals and families create carefully considered estate plans that reflect their personal circumstances and long-term wishes.
In this guide, we explain:
- What a Letter of Wishes is
- How it works alongside your Will
- Whether it is legally binding
- What you can include
- Who should consider having one
- Letter of Wishes examples
- The difference between a Letter of Wishes and a Will
- Common mistakes to avoid
What Is a Letter of Wishes?
A Letter of Wishes is a private document that provides additional guidance about how you would like certain matters to be dealt with after your death.
Unlike a Will, a Letter of Wishes does not legally decide who inherits your estate. Instead, it allows you to explain your intentions and provide additional context to the people responsible for carrying out your wishes.
For example, a Letter of Wishes may explain:
- Why you have divided your estate in a particular way
- How you would like trustees to support children or grandchildren
- Your hopes for how inherited money should be used
- Who should receive certain sentimental possessions
- Your wishes regarding family circumstances
A Letter of Wishes works alongside your Will, rather than replacing it.
Your Will remains the legally binding document that determines how your estate is distributed.
Your Letter of Wishes provides the additional explanation and guidance that your Will may not be able to include.
Why Have a Letter of Wishes?
Many people assume that everything they want to say can simply be included within their Will.
However, there are some situations where a Letter of Wishes may be more appropriate.
A Will needs to be clear and legally effective. Including too much explanation or personal guidance within it can sometimes make the document unnecessarily complicated.
A Letter of Wishes allows you to provide additional information without changing the legal effect of your Will.
For example, you may want to explain:
- Why one beneficiary has received a larger inheritance than another
- How you would like trustees to support your children
- Your hopes for future generations
- The reasons behind important estate planning decisions
Letter of Wishes vs Will: What Is the Difference?
Although they are often discussed together, a Letter of Wishes and a Will serve different purposes.
| Will | Letter of Wishes | |
|---|---|---|
| Legally binding | Yes | No |
| Determines who inherits your estate | Yes | No |
| Can appoint executors | Yes | No |
| Can create trusts | Yes | No |
| Provides personal explanations | Limited | Yes |
| Gives guidance to trustees | Limited | Yes |
| Can be updated easily | Requires formal changes | Usually easier to update |
| Usually becomes part of probate records | Yes | Usually remains private |
The simplest way to think about it is:
Your Will says what must happen.
Your Letter of Wishes explains what you would like to happen and why.
Is a Letter of Wishes Legally Binding?
No.
A Letter of Wishes is not legally binding.
This means:
- Executors do not have to follow it in the same way as a Will.
- Trustees are not automatically required to follow every recommendation.
- It cannot override the instructions contained within your Will.
However, that does not mean a Letter of Wishes is unimportant.
A carefully prepared Letter of Wishes can be highly influential because it helps those responsible for your estate understand:
- Your intentions
- Your priorities
- Your family circumstances
- The reasons behind your decisions
For example, if you have chosen to leave different amounts to your children, your Letter of Wishes can explain why you made that decision.
This explanation may help reduce confusion and potential disagreements between family members.
Can a Letter of Wishes Override a Will?
No.
A Letter of Wishes cannot override a Will.
If there is any conflict between the two documents, your Will takes priority because it is the legally binding document.
For this reason, it is important that your Letter of Wishes supports your Will rather than contradicting it.
A professionally prepared estate plan should ensure that your Will and any supporting documents work together.
Who Should Consider Having a Letter of Wishes?
A Letter of Wishes is not essential for everyone.
For someone with a straightforward estate and simple family circumstances, a Will may provide everything that is needed.
However, a Letter of Wishes can be particularly valuable for:
Parents with Children
Parents often want to provide additional guidance about how their children’s inheritance should be managed.
This can include:
- Education
- Financial support
- Important life events
- Responsible use of inherited money
People With Trusts
Letters of Wishes are commonly used alongside trusts.
A trust can provide flexibility because trustees may need to make decisions based on circumstances that cannot be predicted in advance.
A Letter of Wishes helps trustees understand your intentions and priorities.
For example, you may wish to explain:
- When you would like funds to be used
- What support you would prioritise
- Your hopes for beneficiaries
Couples With Mirror Wills
Many couples create mirror wills because they want their wishes to be aligned.
A Letter of Wishes can provide additional guidance about what should happen after both partners have died, particularly where children, grandchildren or trusts are involved.
You can read more about mirror wills here:
Blended Families
Blended families often have more complex inheritance considerations.
Examples include:
- Children from previous relationships
- Stepchildren
- Second marriages
- Different family expectations
A Letter of Wishes can explain the thinking behind your decisions and help your family understand your intentions.
What Can You Include in a Letter of Wishes?
One of the main benefits of a Letter of Wishes is that it gives you the flexibility to explain matters that may not be suitable for inclusion within your Will.
There are no strict rules about what a Letter of Wishes must contain. The document should reflect your own circumstances, family situation and priorities.
Common topics include:
- Explaining inheritance decisions
- Providing guidance to trustees
- Setting out wishes for children or grandchildren
- Explaining decisions involving blended families
- Providing guidance about personal possessions
- Sharing personal values and hopes for future generations
Explaining Inheritance Decisions
One of the most common reasons people create a Letter of Wishes is to explain why they have made certain decisions about their estate.
For example, you may decide to leave different amounts to family members because:
- One child has already received financial support during your lifetime
- One family member has provided care or assistance
- Different beneficiaries have different financial needs
- You want to recognise particular circumstances
A Will may simply state who receives what.
A Letter of Wishes allows you to explain why.
This can help prevent confusion and may reduce the likelihood of disagreements after your death.
For example:
“I have decided to divide my estate in this way because I have previously provided financial assistance to one of my children to help them purchase their home.”
Letter of Wishes Examples
A Letter of Wishes is a personal document, so the contents will vary depending on your circumstances.
Below are some common examples.
Example 1: Letter of Wishes for Children
Parents often use Letters of Wishes to provide guidance about their children’s inheritance.
For example:
“I would like my trustees to consider using funds to support my children’s education, housing needs and important life events where appropriate.”
This may provide guidance about:
- University costs
- First homes
- Marriage
- Starting a business
- Other significant milestones
Example 2: Letter of Wishes for a Trust
Where a trust has been included within an estate plan, a Letter of Wishes can help trustees understand the person’s intentions.
For example:
“My intention is that the trust funds should be used to support my grandchildren throughout their lives, particularly with education, housing and other important opportunities.”
A Letter of Wishes gives trustees valuable background while still allowing them flexibility to make decisions based on future circumstances.
Example 3: Letter of Wishes for Personal Possessions
Many disputes after a death are not about money but about sentimental items.
A Letter of Wishes can provide guidance about:
- Jewellery
- Family photographs
- Artwork
- Antiques
- Collections
- Personal belongings
For example:
“I would like my jewellery collection to be offered to my daughter and granddaughter before any remaining items are distributed.”
Although this is not legally binding, it can provide a clear indication of your wishes.
Can a Letter of Wishes Include Funeral Wishes?
Yes, some people include funeral preferences within a Letter of Wishes.
Examples include:
- Preferred type of funeral
- Music choices
- Personal requests
- Family traditions
However, it is important to remember that funeral wishes are not legally binding.
A Letter of Wishes may not be found immediately after death, so important funeral preferences should also be discussed with family members or those responsible for making arrangements.
Letter of Wishes and Trusts
A Letter of Wishes is particularly valuable when a trust forms part of your estate planning.
Trusts are often used where someone wants to provide longer-term protection or flexibility.
Examples include:
- Protecting an inheritance for children
- Providing for vulnerable beneficiaries
- Supporting future generations
- Protecting assets within a family
A Letter of Wishes allows you to explain how you hope trustees will approach their role.
For example, you may wish to explain:
- Whether education should be prioritised
- Whether help with housing should be considered
- How you would like different beneficiaries to be supported
- Your values and priorities
You can learn more about how trusts can form part of estate planning here:
Family Trusts Explained
https://townandcountrylaw.legal/family-trusts-guide/
Letter of Wishes for Blended Families
Blended families often benefit from careful estate planning.
Situations may include:
- A second marriage
- Children from a previous relationship
- Stepchildren
- Different inheritance expectations
A Letter of Wishes can help explain your intentions and provide reassurance to family members.
For example, you may wish to explain:
- Why your spouse has been provided for first
- Why children may inherit at different stages
- How you want children from previous relationships to be considered
A Letter of Wishes cannot remove all possibility of disagreement, but providing context can help your family understand the decisions you made.
Letter of Wishes and Mirror Wills
Many couples create mirror wills because they want their wishes to match.
Mirror wills are commonly used by:
- Married couples
- Civil partners
- Long-term partners
A Letter of Wishes can complement mirror wills by providing additional guidance about what should happen after both partners have died.
For example, a couple may wish to explain:
- Their hopes for their children’s inheritance
- How grandchildren should be considered
- How sentimental items should be distributed
Learn more:
Mirror Wills Explained
https://townandcountrylaw.legal/mirror-wills-explained-the-2025-guide-for-uk-couples-planning-their-legacy/
Can Beneficiaries See a Letter of Wishes?
Generally, a Letter of Wishes is considered a private document.
Unlike a Will, it does not usually become part of the probate process.
Whether someone can see a Letter of Wishes depends on the circumstances, particularly where trusts are involved.
In many situations, the person who created the Letter of Wishes intended it to provide private guidance to executors or trustees rather than become a document shared widely with beneficiaries.
Can You Change a Letter of Wishes?
Yes.
One of the advantages of a Letter of Wishes is that it can usually be updated more easily than a Will.
You may wish to review or update it after:
- Birth of children or grandchildren
- Death of a family member
- Marriage
- Divorce
- Changes in relationships
- Changes in financial circumstances
- Changes to your estate plan
It is important that your Letter of Wishes continues to reflect your current intentions.
How Often Should You Review a Letter of Wishes?
There is no fixed legal requirement to update a Letter of Wishes.
However, it is sensible to review it regularly, particularly when reviewing your Will.
A good approach is to review your Letter of Wishes:
- Every few years
- After major family changes
- After significant financial changes
- Whenever your Will is updated
A Letter of Wishes that no longer reflects your circumstances may create confusion rather than clarity.
Common Mistakes When Creating a Letter of Wishes
Although Letters of Wishes are flexible, there are some common mistakes to avoid.
Mistake 1: Treating it as legally binding
A Letter of Wishes is guidance, not a replacement for a Will.
Your Will remains the legally binding document.
Mistake 2: Contradicting your Will
Your Letter of Wishes should support your Will.
If the documents conflict, it may create uncertainty for your executors and trustees.
Mistake 3: Being too restrictive
A Letter of Wishes should provide guidance while allowing trustees and executors to consider future circumstances.
Trying to make it operate like a Will can reduce its usefulness.
Mistake 4: Not telling anyone it exists
A Letter of Wishes is only useful if the right people know about it.
You should make sure:
- Your executors know it exists
- Trustees know where to find it
- Your family understands where important documents are stored
Mistake 5: Forgetting to update it
Family circumstances change.
An old Letter of Wishes may no longer reflect your intentions.
Reviewing it alongside your Will helps ensure your estate plan remains accurate.
Does Everyone Need a Letter of Wishes?
No.
A Letter of Wishes is not essential for every estate.
For someone with:
- A simple estate
- Straightforward family circumstances
- No trust arrangements
- Clear inheritance wishes
a Will may be sufficient.
However, a Letter of Wishes can be extremely valuable where there is:
✅ A trust
✅ A blended family
✅ Children or grandchildren
✅ Unequal inheritance decisions
✅ Complex family circumstances
✅ A desire to explain personal wishes
How Town & Country Law Can Help With Letters of Wishes
A Letter of Wishes can be an important part of a wider estate planning strategy.
While a Will provides the legal instructions for what happens to your estate after your death, a Letter of Wishes allows you to provide additional guidance, explanations and personal insight for the people responsible for carrying out your wishes.
At Town & Country Law, we help individuals, couples and families create carefully considered estate plans tailored to their circumstances.
Our experienced team can help you understand whether a Letter of Wishes may be appropriate alongside:
- A professionally drafted Will
- A Trust
- Mirror Wills
- A Lasting Power of Attorney
- Wider estate planning arrangements
Every family situation is different. The right approach will depend on your assets, your family circumstances and what you want to achieve.
Creating a Complete Estate Plan
A good estate plan is about more than simply deciding who inherits your assets.
It should consider:
- Who you want to benefit
- How your loved ones will be protected
- Whether children or vulnerable beneficiaries need additional support
- Whether trusts may be appropriate
- How decisions should be made if you lose mental capacity
- How your wishes can be clearly communicated
A Letter of Wishes is often one part of this wider planning process.
Related Town & Country Law Guides
You may also find the following guides useful:
Creating a Will
A professionally drafted Will provides the legal foundation for your estate plan.
Your Will allows you to:
- Choose who inherits your estate
- Appoint executors
- Appoint guardians for children
- Include trusts where appropriate
- Make specific gifts
Learn more about Will Writing Services:
https://townandcountrylaw.legal/will-writing-services/
Mirror Wills for Couples
Many couples choose mirror wills because they allow partners to create matching inheritance arrangements.
They are commonly used by married couples and partners who want to provide for each other and their chosen beneficiaries.
A Letter of Wishes can complement mirror wills by providing additional guidance about future intentions.
Read our guide: Mirror Wills Explained
https://townandcountrylaw.legal/mirror-wills-explained-the-2025-guide-for-uk-couples-planning-their-legacy/
Choosing an Executor
Executors play an important role in administering your estate after death.
Choosing the right person is an important part of estate planning.
A Letter of Wishes may also provide helpful guidance to your executors about your intentions.
Read our guide: Choosing an Executor for Your Will
https://townandcountrylaw.legal/choosing-an-executor-for-your-will-uk/
Family Trusts
Trusts can be used as part of estate planning to provide additional flexibility, protection and control over how assets are managed.
A Letter of Wishes is often used alongside trusts to provide guidance to trustees.
Learn more about Family Trusts:
https://townandcountrylaw.legal/family-trusts-guide/
Lasting Powers of Attorney
Estate planning is not only about what happens after death.
A Lasting Power of Attorney allows you to choose trusted people to make decisions on your behalf if you lose the ability to make decisions yourself.
Learn more about Lasting Powers of Attorney:
https://townandcountrylaw.legal/lasting-powers-attorney/
Frequently Asked Questions About Letters of Wishes
What is a Letter of Wishes?
A Letter of Wishes is a private document that provides additional guidance about your intentions alongside your Will. It is not legally binding but can help executors, trustees and family members understand your wishes.
Is a Letter of Wishes legally binding in the UK?
No. A Letter of Wishes is not legally binding.
It provides guidance rather than legal instructions. Your Will remains the document that legally controls how your estate is distributed.
Does a Letter of Wishes override a Will?
No.
A Letter of Wishes cannot override a Will. If there is any conflict between the two documents, the terms of your Will take priority.
Should everyone have a Letter of Wishes?
Not necessarily.
A Letter of Wishes is particularly useful for people with:
- Children
- Grandchildren
- Trusts
- Blended families
- Complex inheritance arrangements
For simpler estates, a well-drafted Will may be sufficient.
Can a Letter of Wishes be changed?
Yes.
One of the benefits of a Letter of Wishes is that it can usually be updated more easily than a Will.
You should review it whenever your circumstances change.
Can I write my own Letter of Wishes?
Yes, but professional guidance can be valuable.
A poorly drafted Letter of Wishes may accidentally conflict with your Will or fail to provide useful guidance.
Professional advice can help ensure your documents work together effectively.
Is a Letter of Wishes the same as a Will?
No.
A Will is a legally binding document that controls inheritance.
A Letter of Wishes is a separate document that provides additional guidance and explanations.
Are Letters of Wishes used with trusts?
Yes.
Letters of Wishes are commonly used with trusts because they allow someone creating a trust to explain their intentions and priorities to trustees.
Can beneficiaries see a Letter of Wishes?
Usually, a Letter of Wishes remains a private document.
Whether beneficiaries see it can depend on the circumstances, particularly where trusts are involved.
Conclusion: Should You Have a Letter of Wishes?
A Letter of Wishes can be a valuable addition to many estate plans.
Although it does not have the same legal status as a Will, it provides something a Will often cannot — the ability to explain your thoughts, intentions and personal wishes in your own words.
For people with children, trusts, blended families or more complex circumstances, a Letter of Wishes can provide valuable guidance and reassurance for the future.
The most effective estate plans usually combine legally binding documents with clear communication about your intentions.
At Town & Country Law, we help individuals and families create tailored estate planning solutions designed around their circumstances.
If you would like advice about whether a Letter of Wishes could benefit your estate plan, contact our team today.
Contact Town & Country Law:
https://townandcountrylaw.legal/contact-us/